Ask-A-Slacker

Are there girls on the internet?

Gremlin asked: Are there girls on the internet?


Girls on the internet are a very popular topic, with many guys feeling strongly towards there being none and if there are they are most certainly ugly. This couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, the way I see it, every single person on the internet other than me is in fact a Victoria’s Secret supermodel with plans to seduce me. The way I see it, you asking me this question is a means for you to see if I have figured out your clever ploy.

In the beginning I believed the facade that you had all set up; that I wasn't the only male on the intranets. It was clever the way that all of you set up forums on sports, discussions about video games, action movie descriptions and others on all sorts of “manly” topics.

All along it was actually millions of highly attractive, incredibly classy, and I can only hope horny women actively participating in the slow seduction of myself. Bravo ladies, I commend you for your attempts. I understand that you have all grown quite fond of me through years of active pursuit of luring me into your homes with promises of beer, and free pay-per-view, but I can’t pick just one of you.

That’s why I have decided to host a large royal rumble type event. Every girl will be given booty shorts and white t-shirts. No bras allowed. Inside the enormous kiddy pool will be a mixture or KY Jelly and Jell-O. Kissing, hugging, groping, scissoring and other signs of affection are allowed, and you will also be allowed to “gang up” on each other. The last one standing will have the honor of being my fuck buddy/house cleaner. These are the rules, and you must all participate.



If you have a question please use the tagboard or contact me through my email. Thanks.


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