Benefits of the slacker lifestyle.

The Woman asks:

Does the slacker life have any real advantages over the more motivated lifestyles?

The slacker lifestyle can be very lucrative and rewarding. When I wake up in the afternoon do you know what I do? Look at myself in the mirror. Why? Not because I’m narcissistic I can assure you. It’s because it’s good to be me. So good in fact that I can only admire my figure and the look of confidence ever present on my face along with the way I get a chubby in the loins.
Everyday when you wake up in the morning, throw on your stuffy business suit, make yourself presentable and grab a coffee to go, how do you feel? Let me guess; like shit. Why? It's because you don’t have time to appreciate yourself. You probably feel like you are taken for granted and you are probably correct in this assumption.
Being a slacker can be very rewarding. If I’m hungry I can walk to the fridge and grab a hot pocket, if I’m tired I go back to sleep, I never have any appointments, I don’t have to be a suck up or a kiss-ass. How does it feel to be motivated? Do you feel good getting up at the crack of dawn to work a 8-12 hour shift at a place you dislike?
The only downside to being a slacker is that I have to wait for holidays to collect on gifts to have any extra cash in my pocket. I spend very little, so $100 can last me a longer amount of time than you would expect. I feel that’s an acceptable trade for peace of mind and freedom to do whatever pleases me whenever I want.

Do you get offended by other slackers?

PetRiLJoe asked me: Do you get offended by other slackers?

It really just depends. Most slackers don’t bother me; in fact we usually become friends because we share a lot of things in common. We all seem to enjoy sleeping, video games, food, and other necessities. We usually have the same taste in movies and other media too, so I usually enjoy my time with other slackers.

On the other hand, occasionally you will come in contact with a slacker that is particularly disgusting slacker. They lack ANY hygiene, tend to be a “one-upper” where they manage to top any story that you have with something more impressive, and tend to be annoying douches. When I come in contact with a person like that, I’ll try to separate myself from them as much as possible or simply embarrass them so that they avoid me. I mentioned one-upping earlier, and I would like to elaborate on that. I might say something like “I beat Guitar Hero 3 in two days”, and they would respond with “I beat Guitar Hero 3 in 12 hours”. Something like that would seem fishy, but you honestly couldn’t say that they are a liar. When someone makes a habit of doing this they are a one-upper and the only recourse that you can take is to lure them into one-upping something that should never be one-upped.

“I did a line of coke off a male prostitutes erect dick”, everyone starts to laugh and you become the center of attention. Most people will catch that you are joking, but the one-upper lacks common sense and social skills.

“Well one time I did ten lines of coke off a male prostitute’s dick and then we had sweaty unprotected sex while using the Lords name in vain.”

Now your job is complete. You allow everyone to mock the one-upping slacker, and maybe you jump in with a catchy nickname that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. “Hey, Holy Cokewhore!”

As always, if you could add comments or ask some questions so that I can continue this it would be appreciated. Also I feel the need to note the tagboard to the right. You can ask questions there too. Oh and I set up 1 block of advertisements on the site so if you could please click on them it would be amazing.

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